Reflections on Life Lessons Learned Through Roman

It's been kind of strange around here without Roman. He was a very in your face or under your feet kind of dog, so it's been a mental and emotional adjustment for me and James both. Some days I ponder why he was in our lives such a short time at just less than 6 years, but mostly I ponder on the lessons he taught me about learning to love again unconditionally and forgiveness. I am grateful for those lessons.

When we got him, he was (to me) so obviously abused...I suspect kicked repeatedly given how he would attack and growl at our feet when we would walk by him. He eventually learned to trust we would never kick him, and to attack his toys, not our feet. :) He trusted my husband immediately (outside of feet), but me not so much. It took me getting pregnant with Nicolas for him to finally bond to me at all. He knew I was pregnant both times before I did. He would lay on my abdomen, I think to protect me and the baby. Eventually, Emmett did it, too, but I think more in competition than the other. Of course, I'll never be quite sure of Emmett's motive. ;)

I don't think Roman fully trusted me, though, until he was with us for about a year. I remember feeling shocked and saddened when he didn't trust me. Looking back, I understand it. I was seeing myself in him, and that is what was hurting me. I have been mistreated quite often, and I am probably just as distrustful of people as Roman was. I don't like this about myself, and it is something I continually work on. Unless I have a long history with a person, I tend to be very wary of people and yes, distrustful.

For me, looking back at Roman's presence in my life is a lesson in remembering to keep my heart open and trust God's protection. Everything happens for a reason, even the uncomfortable, very hurtful, and jolting parts of life. It is often the most painful moments in my life that cause the most change in it, like a caterpillar's metamorphosis into a butterfly. We watched Roman blossom into a playful, loving, sweet, protective companion; we watched him spread his wings by providing a nurturing, unconditionally loving home to him. For me, examining Roman's journey with us provides great lessons on motherhood, marriage, and friendship: 1. Nurture those around you, provide unconditional love to them, and watch them blossom; 2. Being guarded is not always a "bad" trait...There is a time to be guarded and a time to let down that guard and open one's self to the love being offered; 3. One is never too old to make new friends and it's okay to let people love me...This will not necessarily end in abuse, and those new friends may actually surprise us with a love we did not think possible.


September, 2007 Roman and Emmett sharing a water bowl. This was a huge accomplishment in our house...so much so that I took a photo!